Choose My Own Adventure!

Well, frankly I've been dreading writing this one because there's so much to tell , and while I've been procrastinating more has happened of course, so I suppose another will be soon to follow. For this one, I decided writing 'I did this' and then 'I did that' would be rather dull so this format will allow you, the reader to skip around and pick what suits your fancy or just read a couple of sections or just the bumps in the road marked by ***MISHAP*** or of course you can read straight through and be run of the mill if you like. (again for this one, sorry about the length...) Last week, Teddy and I took a trip to Pai and Soppong up in the hills NW of Chiang Mai and here's how it went:

A. Roads: The bus ride from Chiang Mai to Pai and back was an adventure in itself. Although we splurged for AC and space on the minibus (the $1 or $2 extra was worth it) snoozing those 3-4 hours away was not an option. As the bus climbed this hill and that handling the sharp turns like a pro, we listed left and right--it was an endless battle to try not to encroach on your neighbor's space (gave that up after an hour or so) Luckily, there was in transit entertainment right outside the window [Views Jump to C] We arrived in Pai, took it easy that afternoon [Pai Jump to F] and the next day picked up bicycles down the road from our bungalow and headed to Mhor Pan Waterfall. ***MISHAP*** The bikes were a dismal idea on the way there--the roads climbed steeply nearly every inch of the 8km and our tires were lacking air pressure, a lethal combination which forced us to hop off and push then pretty much the whole way. Hiking up dirt roads with extreme inclines, at around noon on a murderously sunny day in flip flops was sweaty and exhausting and the waterfall seemed destined never to turn up but after 2.5 hours give or take, it finally did and we had a nice swim and felt refreshed. Thank goodness that the opposite of up is down! The bikes were aces on the return trip--possibly the loveliest bike ride I've ever had [Views Jump to C]. Whizzing down hills in the open air, breeze in our faces, no pedaling required, it was the perfect reward for out efforts-by the way, it took us 10 minutes to get back. I'm not kidding.
After that escapade, we ditched the bikes and opted for motorized transport instead. We took out newly rented moto to a mountain Wat on the other side of town [Views Jump to C] and then to Soppong the next day. We thought this journey would be quite manageable sticking to the main roads linking them and well...it was , but not entirely--***MISHAP***coming around on of the sharpest and steepest switchbacks (there were many) the motorbike we which we lovingly named Gus slowed to a crawl and we sorta went off the road and tipped over...But no worries! We came out unscathed less a few scarpes and a small thai tattoo froV the carb (souvenier I guess?) which are healing all together nicely. The rest of the hills were no trouble for Gus who worked his way up each one with the two of us and our back packs in tow. Well done Gus! Actually the drive on the winding roads carved into the hills was really wonderful expecially on the return trip (same physics apply here as for the bikes) [Views Jump to C] Over all, the transportation aspect of the trip went smooth as silk, we got to where we were going safe and sound and in good time.

B. Food: Just a few quick notes about this piece. Good eats may not alays be the main attraction but they can make or break any day so here goes. Upon arrival to Pai [Pai Jump to F] we hit a coffee shop to figure out out plan and I slurped down the most refreshing lemon blended ice thing I think I've ever tasted--the perfect combo of sweet and tart for a fat 50 cents. (I love this country). A pink VW vam doubling as a coffee stand served up bright coral colored thia style tea that streamed down my throat in just the right way on a misty morning. Ted and I decided to gamble on a pizza place (hadn't attempted finding italian food since the states) and we were very pleasantly surprised--gratzi Pai! I managed to stumble upon rice crispies in a no name convenience store and gobbled them up for dinner one night and breakfast the next. See I've been missing cereal like crazy since there's no real distinction between thai breakfast, lunch and dinner, so Jackpot! While Teddy was napping (sleepyhead) I shared a couple of rotis (roti=deliciously sweet and sloppy thin pancakes with a banana, egg, raisins and other yummy things in them made on the spot and drizzled with condensed milk) with some really nice guys I I can pass..?)

We were able to eat where we liked in Pai but Cave Lodge--our next place of residence [Caving Jump to D, Hiking Jump to E] was 8 km past the nearest real town so we ate there pretty much exclusively during our stay. Thankfully, they served up hot breakfasts to fuel the day and yummy thai dinners which we gobbled up after much needed showers. We ate in the big teak wood lodge (appropriately) which had lovely breezes and a little swing and a the snuggliest cat ever to keep you and your eggs company.

The cherry on top was passion-fruit bubble tea just before the bus ride home [Roads Jump to A] I'd been craving it since we got to Pai on the way in but the lady who's stand it was sitting there looking delicious had been on vacation. Yum, I do love a good bubble tea!

C. Views: If I didd each on e justice, I'd have to write a novel , so maybe you'd better plan to see then yourself sometime, but here are the spark notes:
Bus ride and motorbike ride [Roads Jump to A]: Through clearings in the trees and at high points on the winding roads, we caught sight of the foothills of the himalayas stretching as far as the eye could see; covered in green, meeting blue sky with clouds like out of a story book.
Bike ride back form Pai's waterfall [Roads Jump to A]: green green green cornfields and rice paddies touched by bright sun leading up to ranges of hills surrounding Pai's valley, dirt road ahead winding through the fields waitng for us to speed past as though flying.
From Pai's Wat [Pai Jump to F]: We reached the top just in time to view rain showers rolling into town from afar. The dark clouds in layers of gray and blue and the fast changing and swirling mist around the mountains was menacing and majestic.
Big hike [Hiking Jump to E]: same same but different. Here we got a closer look at the tree covered limestone's features jutting out this way and that, sheer faces and sharp valleys with streams cutting through the green fields at their bottom. The extra bit to the cave allowed us to look down into valleys filled with green growth and touched by sun. The sky was the bluest blue and the hills were the greenest green and at this point you may as well just go there soon because I feel I'm repeating myself.
Hike to Spirit Well [Hiking Jump to E]: a big mountain on either side framed a pretty picture--close; the small village where we'd come from, beyond that, bright crops sparkling in the sun and that mountainous backdrop that never got old or boring as much as we looked on. Sigh.

D. Caving: Upon our much anticipated arrival at Cave Lodge after a mildly bumpy motorbike ride [Roads Jump to A] we picked our bungalow and barely had a moment to breathe in and our again before leaving for a caving excursion that afternoon. It would have been nice to feel collected and relax briefly but we gave that up in exchange for a rockin couple of hours in stead. We climbed into 2 person rafts (my guide's name was Wat) and floated down the river to the entrance of Tam Lod cave. We viewed stalactites and bat holes by head lamp as we drifted through all too quickly. We tied up at the exit and hopped out to see some caves on foot. ***MISHAP***No one bothered to mention before we left how much we would be out of the boats and climbing around slippery muddy rock and slatted stairs in the dark so naturally I'd worn flip flops. Hmph. Not helping matters, my headlight was so dim I actually could not tell if it was on or off. Seeing the cave without falling on my face presented a challenge but, there was payoff for my struggles. The coffin caves were pretty sweet. (They're coffin caves because they house what are thought by researchers to be coffins made of teak wood which lasts forever--in this case over 1000 years. I know that's neat in theory, but I couldn't quite muster excitement over some old slabs of wood. However, the rock formations and soda straws and bats were enough to oogle themselves. Awesome. then back to the rafts for some rapids to complete a full day. Cave Lodge, shower, meal [Food Jump to B], book, bed. The next day found us on a long hike [Hikes Jump to E] which eventually led us to Tam Long Yao. We followed our guide crawling army style through the low muddy entrance, and after that we could stand and walk through comfortably; this one seemed to go back and back forever. WE walked back and back for maybe 10 or 15 minutes and still hadn't reached the end but figured we ought to turn back as we were short on time. We hustled back for the swift show at Tam Lod [Hikes Jump to E] and made it just at the right time. Swifts are tiny birds which look a lot like bats (I kept making this mistake) and navigate by echolocation which really makes them look like bats, but they are out and about during the day and when the sun sets, they all go rushing back to Tam Lod cave or their beauty sleep. We arrived in time to see them flooding in; thousands on thousands on thousands--I mean, wow. A LOT of swifts. We went further in to the cave for a different view which we received along with a fair amount of swift poop raining down on us, shortly after which we decided we were tired and hungry and dirty (no question there) so we went to Cave Lodge once again to remedy all of the above ailments. And that's just what we did.

E. Hikes: Monday was our big hiking day. After motorbiking to Cave Lodge [Roads Jump to A] and rafting and sliding through Tam Lod [Caving Jump to D], we were ready to keep our feet on the ground for a little while so we decided to pack lunch and set off with out new friend Dani (the only other guest at Cave Lodge that day) for some hills. Hills. Yes, hills were certainly what we got, and lots of them--good ones. We had a lovely sunny day and blue skies, but along with the lovely part came the heat. We sweated up and up and up the steep steep steep grades to the top of a N to S running ridge and then sweated back down the other side to tiny Baan Mueang Paem village enjoying the views along the way of course [Views Jump to C]. There Teddy and I arranged for a local to take us to Tam Lang Yao, a cave 30-45 minutes walk south of the village. Dani stayed put to socialize with the local women and watch them weave. Our guide darted onto a small mud pathway winding through trees and Ted and I raced after him trying desperately not to slip on the mud and wet rocks, pausing to haphazardly snap a picture at openings in the trees. We waded through streams and picked out way around overgrowth finally reaching the entrance to the cave [Caving Jump to D]. On the way back, he was just as quick and again we scrambled after him and were pretty well covered in sweat, mud and dirt upon our return, but the views on the hike were worth the trip themselves. (Of course our guide came out without so much as a smudge from the journey.) As soon as we arrived back a the village we set out for the walk home and quickened our pace so we could get back to Tam Lod before dark in time to see the swifts. [Caving Jump to D]. After retracing our steps and hurrying through the woods up the back of Tam Lod cave, over the top and around to the other side, it was just getting to be twilight--perfect for swift sighting. By the time e got back to Cave Lodge, a long shower, followed by a meal, a bit of reading and an early bed time was all we needed. Using Cave Lodge's hand drawn map and some guestimation, we computed that we logged about 20 km that day--ouch! my quads hurt just thinking about it.
The next day saw us up and out early so we could squeeze in a smaller hike before heading back to Pai on the bike. [Roads Jump to A] We made our way to a Black Lahu village not to far on the bike and then got a local to take us up to the Spirit Well. The Spirit Well is basically a huge hole beginning at the topp of a V connecting neighboring mountains and stretching down a couple hundred meters give or take. Sounded cool at any rate. I must admit, this being day number two, my legs screamed a bit louder. This in addition to shin splints and a fat blister in wet hiking shoes threatened to make to journey more painstaking than enjoyable, but once again, scenic views saved the day. The ones on this hike are among my favorites for sure [Views Jump to C] Just when I couldn't go further, we reached the Spirit Well and sadly were forced to view it sort of from afar--we couldn't quite peer over the lip but our imaginations served us instead. What we could see was pretty neato though. We came down just as we had gone up only the opposite of course and I'll say that I was glad to have two feet on flat ground and happily shroud in dry flip flops. Phew!

F. Pai: With only three traffic lights (barely necessary ones), Pai doesn't have a lot of ground to cover but this hippy-dippy town as it was aptly described to Teddy and I before we departed, is well worth the trip up curvy mountain roads [Roads Jump to A]. VW vans are around every corner and funky stores, relaxed cafes and food and snack stands line the streets. Yummy treats [Food Jump to B], green mountainous surroundings [Views Jump to C], live music and friendly faces make Pai a lovely place to pass a few lazy days. Our guesthouse was a pocket of cute bungalows tucked down a side street and had free bananas for its patrons (that's us!) A couple doors down from Breeze of Pai bungalows was a place called Eatable Jazz where I spent a satisfying evening (Ted sleeping the hours away) sipping on green tea, chatting with the bartender Bud (or the thai version of the name Bud) and soaking up some of the best live music I've heard in a good while. (The live music we heard at the Buffalo Exchange the previous night was also notably enjoyable.) Pai was the ideal place to escape city smog and stress without giving up that morning cup 'a jo.

Doi Chiang Dao

The simple quiet ways of monastery life are now a distant memory; I've been on the go since the bell chimed to end my stay. I headed straight to Chiang Mai where Teddy kindly met me at the airport and we headed back to Ratchamanka Soi 7 where his apartment can be found in the the SW corner of the old city. I arrived at night and the next morning we packed up and and headed to Chiang Dao for a quick overnight visit.

Though Chiang Dao is only an hour or two busride outside the city, it feels worlds away. We stayed in the small town situated at the base of Chiang Dao Mountain (Doi Chiang Dao). There isn't much to do aside from exploring the caves and admiring the sceenery. We did both--we took a tour lead by oil lamp and along the way our guide likened various formations to various animals (some were a stretch some weren't) and luckily Teddy was able to translate. He continues to impress me with his thai--the lessons he took were money well spent for sure, and basically, I'm 100% jealous. Try as I might just to pick up a few words, it seems hopeless without classroom instruction. The caves were neat, but honestly paled in comparison to the vistas. Our bungalo overlooked rice paddies leading up to Chiang Dao mountain--a breathtakingly gorgeous sight, it towers impressively over neighboring hills and is constantly accented by low lying clouds that encircle and hide various parts of its lush greenery. We spent the better portion of our short stay ooing and ahhing at this mountain from different angles begotten by various modes of transportation (walking, biking, motorbiking..) and had a lovely time doing it. At one point we climbed an endless (not kidding) staircase littered with funny signs (like 'you can revitalize when you are tired, but you can't live once you are dead' or something to the effect) that finally culminated at a Buddhist temple seated way up on the side of Doi Chiang Dao with a spectacular view over the town to the layers of green, blue and gray mountains beyond. Having had our fill of delicious food (our guest house 'Rainbow' served a multiple course feast that was scrumdidlyumptous) and pretty sights, we came back feeling refreshed.

Over the next couple of days, Teddy plunged back into work and I explored the city on foot in search of thai massage courses and yoga studios. I had multitudes of success with the former and close to nil with the latter, but I did manage to find one yoga place still in existence and listed under the correct address that offers a few classes a week so I will give that one a go soon. And the thai massage course begins Monday. Chiang Mai is every bit as charming as other tourists I spoke to led on. Though still filled with the hustle, bustle and smog of city life, Chiang Mai has a comfortable, manageable feel and offers some peace and quiet and a few cute coffee shops down every soi. There is a nice balance of tourists and locals here. The old city is a square mile encased by a moat which helps with navigation, most places are within a short walk of each other and Chiang Mai Gate Market serves up some of the best grub you can find for nest to nothing. Teddy's two roommates and all of his coworkers whom I've met so far are lovely, cheerful and kind. If I didn't have a ticket to India in 2 weeks (holy molicans! that's rapidly approaching) I may never leave! (Don't worry Teddy, I'll get on the plane) Better just savor these last days in Thailand and plan the return trip later :)

Shhhhhhhhhhhh

Ah, it's good to be back! As you may have now deduced, I have made it through 10 days at the monastery and am no worse for the ware. BE FOREWARNED: this entry will be LEEEEEENNNNNNGGGGGTTTTTHHHHHYYYYYY, but it's 10 days worth all saved up for your reading pleasure, so just deal...or skim if you prefer. For lack of other ideas, I will begin at the beginning and end at the end. When I arrived at Wat Suan Mokkh, I discovered to my great dismay that no journaling, reading, listening to music or any other forms of entertainment were allowed--that was the first time I considered walking out. I had planned to journal my little heart out, jotting down every thought and brilliant insight that was sure to come along; sadly journaling was deemed a distraction form yourself, a diversion for the mind and was thought to lessen the benefit of the experience. Ok. I get it already. Almost in tears (it was like parting with close friends really) I turned in my journal and all my books to remove temptation from my world. I got the abbreviated tour (as, unbeknownst to me, (stupid website) I had arrived a few hours late...) and then went to put my things in my room or should I say...cell? Here lies the second time I considered leaving--I opened the padlock on door 107 (one in a line of many in a rectangular courtyard) to be greeted by a room constructed entirely of cement--floor, walls, bed, small window...that was pretty much it. Yes the bed was cement. No, no mattress on it, just a cement shelf. To be fair, there were a few extra items to make the room more cozy: a bamboo mat (thickness=10 sheets of paper at best), a small wool blanket (useless in warm weather), a mosquito net (because the walls were latticed at the top so to make sure bugs and creatures have easy access) and a wooden pillow. Wooden pillow. If you can think of a better oxymoron, please let me know. I was quickly instructed how to remove stinging centipedes, snakes and scorpions from my quarters should need arise, there was a short info session for practical matters, the vow of silence was instated and then lights out around 9:15. Tired from the previous nights moonlight boat ride, running on only a few hours rest, I fell asleep without terrible trouble until the big bell woke us up at 4am. I had been worried about waking up, but as promised (with a wink and a knowing smile) by the staff, the bell was unmissable. Then the really hard part began.

We were scheduled from 4:30am-9:00pm (see schedule HERE) every day with only two meals and tea for sustenance (and three coinciding breaks). But, some things were looking up, for one--breakfast was acceptable--rice glop with the occasional red bean, greens and bananas on the side and tea. [Note: actually this got old after about 2 days, maybe 3 and by the end of 10 I could barely touch it, but it seemed okay at the time.] For another, lunch was really delicious--this one held through--usually tea, rice, a veggie or tofu stew of some sort, often curry, another veggie/noodle dish and sometimes a third vegetable on the side and maybe rambutans for dessert if we were lucky. And at tea time, we had hot chocolate or sweetened tea (both yummy) which was great except a few times we had this other weird milky drink I didn't much care for, it was a gigantic let down when I saw that i the pot. Also, there was a natural hot springs available for out indulgence after breakfast and tea. I made a habit of going there after tea and then showering at the outdoor showers there. I was one of many who adopted the routine as the alternative for bathing was to use the big basins of water at the dorms. WE were required to have sarongs covering ourselves at all times so that meant holding the sarong with one hand, pouring water over your head from a dish with the other and scrubbing your hair with a third...wait a minute...well it was a challenge in coordination to be sure. However, I doubt that a dip in a sizzling natural pool followed by a cool refreshing outdoor shower can be beat in terms of pleasant after tea rituals, especially if the tea was actually hot chocolate. It was a luxury easy to grow accustomed to and hard to give up, but it was a well deserved pleasure.

At the end of the first day, I looked back and could not see the beginning, I looked forward and 9 more days seemed like eternity plus one ion and then some. Though I was determined to complete the program, I thought I may actually be at risk of passing into the afterworld (if there is one) first. Over the following couple of days, a number of changes took place. The most helpful in shifting my attitude about the place was that I adjusted quicker than I thought possible to the early starts. The mornings remained my favorite part of every day. Rising while the stars are still twinkling, a candle lit reading, peaceful meditation and yoga with a slow sunrise in the background is one heck of a great way to kick the day off right. [Note: the yoga teacher was unfortunately boring as ever--same measly routine everyday--but it was a blessing in disguise because it gave me practice coming up with my own sequences as I marched to the beat of my own drum in the back and this way, every session was, frankly, superb.] Rather than a struggle , as I had anticipated, silence was easy, comfortable, peaceful. It's something I already miss, even after just hours. It lifted many pressures and allowed full focus to be dedicated to the task at hand whatever that may have been--eating lunch, washing clothes, walking from point a to point b; small tasks were simple, pleasant, stress free. The days got easier with a bit of practice and actually passed at a, not fast, but certainly steady pace. I doctored up my bed with my yoga mat and a snagged meditation cushion or two--not really something to fall into per say, but livable.

Sadly, not every change that occurred was for the better. The more I learned about Buddhism, the more dis-enamored I became with it. My mind sometimes wandered to what I might be writing in this entry and I must admit there were moments when I thought of using it as a forum to express my dislike, frustration, even my anger at what was being taught, but I've decided that such an expression is better left for smaller more individual discourses--rest assured I will take you up on the opportunity to express my views with enthusiasm. A crucial point I must mention though, is that unfortunately, anapanasati meditation (the type we practiced at Wat Suan Mokkh) is intimately linked with the Buddhist belief system or way of life, as they would put it. This made it terribly hard to stay motivated to practice with the necessary concentration.

On day 5 I took my concerns to a 15 minute chat available for trouble and talked to Khun Reihart--a lovely cheerful staff member. It looks like all of his teeth have fallen out and been pasted back in again, but he somehow manages to have a delightful smile that illuminates both his face and yours momentarily. He gave me just the perspective I needed to carry on; I was then more able to take what I deemed valuable information and leave the rest to dissipate into the wind. Day 6 I found the pace of my thought slowed, the volume lowered. I've never experienced a quiet mind, but there were moments even, when I thought of nothing or rather had no thought and they were blissful in their own right (but fleeting as moments often are). A few really persistent thoughts continued to interrupt my meditation sessions, time and time again carrying my attention away form my breathing where it should've stayed put. Walking meditation kept my thoughts still a bit more which was a happy success.

Days went by as they're prone to do, I learned a new kind of exhaustion--that from sitting on the floor with only a few cushions and from concentration to the point of frequent headaches. My joints creaked and popped in ways they never had, my limbs went numb on and off, my brain felt sleepy and sore like after a long study session--but I took joy in small things--a cool breeze, a small exchange of smiles, a warm cup in my palms, the nuzzle of a monastery cat, the waxing moon, the flicker of a candle. Suddenly it was day 9. On this day, every talking/chanting session was replaced by meditation to own our rhythm. This meant we could stand, sit or walk when we pleased, but we had to grind through a total of 9 plus hours of meditation in one day. Needless to say, this day kinda hurt, but like the others, it too passed by, and then there we were at day 10. Our numbers had gone from 68 to 45 over the course of the retreat. I never saw anyone leave--a pretty good trick that speaks to the quality or the staff--but the meditation hall got slowly but noticeably emptier. Everyone left at the end could be proud just to be present. We each had a few minutes to speak our piece at the microphone the last night--it was fun and fascinating to hear everyone's voice, learn where they were from and get their insights, quips and occupations. The silence was officially broken on the morning of Day 11 and we had a few hours to socialize. There are too many great background stories to recount. I t was a joy beyond words to finally discuss our shared experience, validate our opinions and struggles and laugh at our difficulties. I parted with a soft melancholy in my heart--so many lovely people, and not enough time to get to know them better.

Hmmmm... final thoughts...I'm glad I went through with the retreat for sure--100%. I don't think anapanasati will be the style of meditation I intend to practice daily, but there's the rest of my life to find that. What's more I got to know myself a bit better--never time wasted and took away a large handful of insightful tidbits for life and living it well. Journaling was discouraged but we were free to jot down knowledge gained so whenever some words worth putting into print passed my way, I remembered then for later recording. The longer version of numbered lessons can be found here, but the cliff notes are these:

• you and nature are of the same so treat it with care
• a smile passed back and forth between strangers can turn two days around
• let go of the past, don't worry about the future, your happiness is in this moment
• try to be fully present in everything you do and say
• let love and compassion dominate your exchanges with others
• the care of family and close friends can release you from suffering

May sunlight peep though the cracks between your obligations today and every day after. If you have 10 minutes or even 5, maybe try sitting still and quiet and being with yourself. It isn't the American way--I know this--but doing nothing can be doing something if you make it so.

Yada yada, don't let my new found wisdom overwhelm you, sending smiles for miles!